Many struggle with the question of why is it so hard to be happy. The truth of the matter is it can be very difficult to find joy in life, but there are reasons for this most do not want to hear. Before going deeper into this I will make our disclaimer that we are not medical professionals or therapists, if anyone who is reading this is suffering from depression or another kind of severe mental issue please contact a health professional.
When answering the question how to be happy there is one simple answer which is:
Make The Choice To Be Happy
I know you have heard this before and may be tired of it but hear me out here. There are many things in life that you may not have a say in for example the weather, if it going to rain it is going to rain, but you can choose your thoughts. Easier said than done you may say and that can be very true because:
You Have Trained Yourself To Be Unhappy
Again something you might have heard before and very frustrating I know, for years I suffered with the question of how to be happy in life. I read many books, listen to webinars and so on and was still left with an enormous sense of unhappiness. What makes this even worse is that what I had read and studied on happiness DID WORK but I simply was not doing it. So why are people, including myself (at the time) unhappy, why do so many struggle with how to be happy in life? The answer which is make the choice is so simple it hurts and so simple that for many it is difficult. Being the bullet point fans that we are here are reasons why you may be unhappy:
- Issue 1- The fact that you searched for why is it so hard to be happy is a big sign that your focal point is on unhappiness. Fix- When you are chronically fixated on feeling bad you will continually feel bad.
- Issue 2- You know what to do but your mind gets in the way, you say positive affirmations, you make your gratitude list and so on but you still have that overwhelming sense of despair. Fix- Don’t stop your gratitude list, keep going with repeating what you desire in your life, by doing so you just make it stronger whether you realize it or not. People have a tendency to quit doing something when they do not results immediately and by quitting these types of lists and practices you are losing sight of what you do have and your future hopes.
- Issue 3 -You have made your brain a “should would could” mind, everything that you should do is a pain; everything you would or could do “IF” is depressing. Fix: Don’t should on yourself and replace would with will and could with can.
- Issue 4 -You are focused on the outside, the people you don’t have in your life, the things you can’t attain, the money you don’t have, etc. Fix- Be happy with what you have and if you have a chronically negative mind here is one thing you do have to start you off – If you are reading this you have computer and internet access. Shift your words, shift your thoughts, your life WILL change.
“But I have tried all that and nothing works so why is it so hard to be unhappy?”
You want to be unhappy – think about it, does being unhappy benefit you in some way? Did searching for this article allow procrastinating or avoiding a fearful activity? If you search hard enough you may find an answer. You will gain things and give away things, people will come into your life and they will leave, you were born and you will die, there is simply no way around these things and these thing but they are absolutely wonderful things. When losing one person at some point in your life grief is natural but you lost them for a reason it could be to grow and or to gain new people in your life. These new people can change your life in ways you cannot event imagine and the growth lessons you gain from losing someone may surprise you.
Now there are many time where some need a grieving period , but stagnating in it and allowing it to control your life hurts no one but yourself. I have gone on long enough however there is much more to be said on this I will create a Why is it so hard to be happy Part 2 so stick around. In the meantime restart your gratitude, stop searching for why, get up, get out and get active.