DESIRE AND BELIEF

Category: Personal Development

  • Frustration and Regret

    how to get over frustration and regret

    Two of the most difficult emotions that interfere with positive creation and achieving desire are frustration and regret.  The two can be felt alone but many times accompany each other.

    Overcoming frustration and regret can be such a difficult task.  People are conditioned to look back at past decisions and dwell on them.  Past decisions that they believe brought them to where they are now.

    The hardest thing for many to understand is that those decisions may have played a part in bringing them to where they are but did not create how they are.  Differentiating between the two can be troublesome.

    To succeed in achieving lack of frustration and regret, there are a few steps that one can follow.

    First and foremost, is remembering forward thinking, thinking of the good that lies ahead.  With that being said, many people need to practice forward thinking often to achieve relief from frustration and regret.

    A way that I found helpful when practicing forward thinking in regards to frustration and regret is to think back for just a moment, and realize that at the time of the decisions you were making the best decision you could with the knowledge you had at hand.

    The above technique promotes forgiveness and although every decision that was made may not require forgiveness, the forgiveness promotes relief.  The relief then guides the individual to bring on more relieving thoughts.

    A final technique I have used is the flow chart. The flow chart has many different aspects which I will cover in a later post. In a nutshell, a flow chart is the actual drawing out of different times, what you was thinking at those times, and why you made the decision.  The flow chart assists in releasing frustration and regret because people can actually see that they did their best at that time.   Since individuals have a great tendency to be visual in nature, this process of having something tangible in there hands for them to see can be very beneficial.

    When all else fails, facing the harsh reality that you are frustrated and regretful because of your own choosing is in order.  This tough love is not comfortable but can smack you back into alignment if you listen to yourself.

    He who angers you conquers you, and unfortunately at times that person is yourself.

  • When Belief Stands In The Way Of Desire

    Many times throughout life you are faced with decisions, decisions that may be tedious to make.  However, if ones beliefs matched their desires there would be no difficult decisions.

    Achieving true alignment with oneself takes time and if one has not mastered the skill out comes those tedious decisions.  When these times appear, one could be in a state to make decisions about beliefs that they have made a reality or that they may have been brought up with.

    A good example of this would be a money situation.  An individual wants freedom and desires to set their own schedule, so they start their own business.  The business is not as profitable as they need it to be, so a new belief begins to emerge.  The belief is that money is needed and is more important then their dream or desire.  The individual then gives up their business and goes back to a life where the original belief is let go. Their freedom is let go and they feel negative because they felt they have failed in achieving their true desire.

    This can be a devastating experience and the feeling of failure will lurk in the individual’s current situation.  The original desire was for freedom and setting their own schedule.  Due to a new reality that individual made, they are left with a sense of hopelessness and victim of circumstance.

    The key to preventing a new belief from standing in the way of true desires can be as simple as you want it to be, however an element of sacrifice may be needed.  You would not establish an original desire for example, freedom, if you did not believe you could achieve it in some way.  Therefore the element of sacrifice needs to be letting go of the immediate now and maintaining forward thinking.

    Any decision or situation can be as easy or as hard as you make it, but once you make a decision the goal should be to not look back.  Stay true to the original belief and if new needs or beliefs surface, evaluate them.

    For example, if the need for more money surfaces is there a way to achieve it without letting go of your original desire?  Or if you are forward thinking, can you see yourself in the future with more money from your current endeavor.  This type of thinking can realign your beliefs with your true desires.

    If one maintains this forward thinking in their immediate now, what looks like sacrifice can be reframed into a step in achieving ones true desire.

  • The Law of Attraction and Resistance – Are You Trying To Hard?

    The Law of Attraction and Resisitance

    Have you ever had a time when you desired something so badly that you worked and struggled to get it?  During the struggle did you find yourself giving up hope and becoming frustrated?  I know I have and many other people have as well.

    The Law of Attraction teaches that our thoughts create things, yet we continue to fight for what we want.  When we let go of the struggle and imagine what we want to be, it comes with much more ease.

    This is not to say that you do not have to work for what you want.  The Law of Attraction teaches that you will work on inspired action.  Inspired action is taken with joy and happiness.  You feel good when you are inspired to take the action.

    Inspired action is the great difference between the struggle and achievement.  Knowing when you are working with inspired action is quite simple.  As the Law of Attraction teaches, let your emotions be your guide.  If you feel good when working, you are inspired, if  you feel bad you are not.

    These may seem like very simplistic rules to the Law and many of you may know them.  However, many people, including myself, will find themselves in turmoil and forget these simple steps.

    If you are struggling with remembering these things or with the teachings of the Law of Attraction there are some simple things you can do as a reminder.

    In the book “The Secret” they talk about a vision board that you can see everyday that serves as a reminder of your true desires.  Unless you have a vision board wherever you go, you may have a difficulty remembering the Law of Attraction during times of struggle.

    I use some of the old school ways of reminding myself that my thoughts are either creating or resisting:

    Using good old Post-It notes and posting them in the places you will be during the day or creating a business card to put in your wallet with reminders of releasing resistance.  Having reminders that are with you at all times will greatly help with any struggle.

    On these reminders you can put anything you like to keep the Law of Attraction fresh in your mind.  Some of my favorites are “I am where, I am, and it’s ok” or “My desires are on their way to me.”

    By keeping these reminders throughout the day in your possession or environment, you are guaranteed to have a change of thought, no matter what the situation.

  • Enjoy Your Life: Change Your Point of View

    “Two men look out through the same bars: One sees the mud, and one sees the stars.”- Frederick Langbridge, A Cluster of Quiet Thoughts

    If you’ve placed second in a writing contest, will you jump for joy and push for better results the next time or will you be discouraged and find an excuse not to join again?

    In life, you are always filled with choices. You may opt to have a pessimist’s view and live a self-defeated life or you may decide to take the optimist’s route and take a challenging and fulfilling life.

    So why nurture an optimist’s point of view? And why now?

    Well, optimism has been linked to positive mood and good morale; to academic, athletic, military, occupational and political success; to popularity; to good health and even to long life and freedom from trauma.

    On the other hand, the rates of depression and pessimism have never been higher. It affects middle-aged adults the same way it hits younger people. The mean age of onset has gone from 30 to 15. It is no longer a middle-aged housewife’s disorder but also a teen-ager’s disorder’ as well.

    Here’s how optimists are in action and researches that back up why it really pays to be an optimist:

    Optimists expect the best

    The defining characteristic of pessimists is that they tend to believe bad events, which will last a long time and undermine everything they do, are their own fault.

    The truth is optimists are confronted with the same hard knocks of this world. What differs is the way they explain their misfortune—it’s the opposite way. They tend to believe defeat is just a temporary setback, that its causes are confined to this one case.

    Optimists tend to focus on and plan for the ‘problem’ at hand. They use ‘positive reinterpretation.’ In other words, they most likely reinterpret a negative experience in a way that helps them learn and grow. Such people are unfazed by bad situation, they perceive it is a challenge and try harder.

    They won’t say “things will never get better,” “If I failed once, it will happen again” and “If I experience misfortune in one part of my life, then it will happen in my whole life.”

    Positive expectancies of optimists also predict better reactions during transitions to new environments, sudden tragedies and unlikely turn of events. If they fall, they will stand up. They see opportunities instead of obstacles.

    People respond positively to optimists

    Optimists are proactive and less dependent on others for their happiness. They find no need to control or manipulate people. They usually draw people towards them. Their optimistic view of the world can be contagious and influence those they are with.

    Optimism seems a socially desirable trait in all communities. Those who share optimism are generally accepted while those who spread gloom, panic and hysteria are treated unfavorably.

    In life, these people often win elections; get voted most congenial and sought for advice.

    When the going gets tough, optimists get tougher

    Optimists typically maintain higher levels of subjective well-being during times of stress than do people who are less optimistic. In contrast, pessimists are likely to react to stressful events by denying that they exist or by avoiding dealing with problems. Pessimists are more likely to quit trying when difficulties arise.

    They persevere. They just don’t give up easily, they are also known for their patience. Inching their way a step closer to that goal or elusive dream.

    Optimists are healthier and live longer

    Medical research has justified that simple pleasures and a positive outlook can cause a measurable increase in the body’s ability to fight disease.

    Optimists’ health is unusually good. They age well, much freer than most people from the usual physical ills of middle age. And they get to outlive those prone to negative thoughts.

    So why not be an optimist today? And think positively towards a more fulfilled life.

    Why not look forward to success in all your endeavors? Why not be resilient? Like everybody else you are bound to hit lows sometimes but don’t just stay there. Carry yourself out of the mud and improve your chances of getting back on the right track. And why not inspire others to remove their dark-colored glasses and see life in the bright side?

  • Dealing With Difficult People and The Law Of Attraction

    how to deal with difficult people

    I am sure I am not the only one that has found myself surrounded by difficult people.  These people can range from a new group you have just been introduced to, to your own family.  The latter I believe is more difficult because they are your family.

    When you are surrounded by these people you may feel negative vibes, hear negative comments, and feel the need to escape.  Those feelings, according to the law of attraction, are your guidance system telling you this is not the right path for you.

    What do you do if it is a new group of people you have been subjected to or if it is your family themselves?  How do you separate yourself from these negative surroundings without offending or burning bridges?

    To answer this we must first look at the Law of Attraction and what it says about these negative people or surroundings.  It is said that by our thoughts we have created these situations.  For me, and for many others I am sure, that is a difficult pill to swallow.  However, if that is the fact we must pay attention to our thoughts prior to interacting with people.

    If we find ourselves in these situations where there may be negativity our thoughts must have led us there.  An example evaluation of these thoughts could be “I hope these people are not unfriendly”  “What if we have nothing in common” or “I hope this family get together was not like the last one.”

    These thoughts have created this negative environment you may find yourself in.  So prior to these events a correction of thought is needed.  An example of corrective thoughts may be “I am so glad my family and I will have great conversations today” or “I am excited to meet these new people and make some positive friends.”

    This way of thinking will encourage a helpful environment in the future, however what if you are in a negative situation now?  What thoughts do you think, what actions do you do, to create a negative environment into a positive one?

    If you find yourself in that situation where you are surrounded by negativity your first thoughts or actions should not be negative, this will just fuel the fire.  You must look for the tiny positives of the situation and many times it may not be the people you are with.

    An example of looking for these positives to focus on and think about may be “I am in a beautiful environment”  “I like the shirt that she is wearing; it is very colorful and vibrant.”  These thoughts of course may not fix any negativity of others, but it is not your job to fix, it is your goal to focus on the positive.  These little thoughts will lead to larger, more positive thoughts.

    If all else fails, separate yourself from the situation.  Go to the bathroom and reframe your thoughts, make a phone call to a positive friend, or leave all together.  I have been in these situations and although the tips seem minimal you will be surprised at how much they help you in your feeling of relief.

    One key point to remember, as mentioned earlier in this article, is to think positive thoughts before going to events and meeting people ahead of time.  The more that can frame your thoughts in a positive manner, the more positive experiences you will have.

  • Build Your Self-Esteem

    build your self-esteem

    So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.

    Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you.  So which dart pins should you avoid?

    Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
    Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned.  Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.

    Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
    Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.

    Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment
    You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

    Dart Pin #4: Past Experience
    It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.

    Dart Pin #5: Negative World View
    Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

    Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
    The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

    Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”

    In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change  changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.

    Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline.  Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.